Sigh

Today is someone's b day party. Although I was indirectly invited to the same event I decided not to go.

I had an conversation with a mutual friend and uncharacteristicy I felt a lot of Anger

Every time I think I made progress something else creeps back in. This time in just pure anger.

I dont want up hating her and yet I cant forgive her. For all the bullshit, immaturity and flat out lies.

Now my friend said I shouldnt be angry and maybe he's right. She didnt steal from me or hurt me physically

but on a emotional level I just feel SO HURT       I know I'm too serious at times but I just feel every time I take 2 steps forward I take a step back

someone once said   I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

I wish I can see it was

the New year

Uncharacteristically I read my horoscope today

http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/aquarius/yearly-love/

That's a bit creepy as it hits a bit close to home.

Maybe I can finally let go and view the world as I once did. with boundless optimism and with a sort of hopeless love that has been missing.

If I learn anything is that nothing is more painful than unrequited love. But I vow not to let that take away from that big heart I give to the world.